Goal Update: Starting Fresh from Starting Over

1webdesignSo two months after making my list of website projects I had planned to do….. I’ve decided to scrap basically the entire list. Unfortunately, a lot of those subjects, I just don’t have the drive for anymore and I can’t stand seeing them neglected and losing what drive I do have to work on other projects out of guilt. This blog is supposed to be for motivation, right? So I need to keep myself motivated! Keep what I need and leave behind the excess! (/^▽^)/

I threw them all into a folder, however, in case in the future I find the energy to actually complete them! Half of them were already started and I don’t have the heart to completely erase them! (。•́︿•̀。)

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Goal Update: Playing the Grammar Game

While registering for my next Japanese class, I did the usual and bought more resource books. I have a problem. When I see books I want, I simply can’t resist buying them. In this case, I saw this little gem and realized that out of all the books on Japanese that I have, I had yet to pick up anything specifically dedicated to grammar.

When it comes to learning languages, grammar is my worst enemy. English is my first language and I still don’t have a proper grasp on this language. I make up my own rules. On the one hand, it’s awesome because I can get my point across and not give a damn about the details. On the other hand, it is a curse that follows me around when I try to dip into other languages. It becomes less “oh so that’s how you would say that” and more “so how can I say that without using that?”. Like I said, a curse.

So imagine my surprise when I started reading through this and actually fucking learned something (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و Particularly the pages that help spell out the exact uses for particles. Particles seem to be a particularly hard part for me to grasp but something that I always encounter when I am trying to decipher hiragana and other texts. This book made it easier to understand the differences and helped put them into a context I could understand from an English-speaking stand point. It uses terminology that I am familiar with but also very clearly spells out the difference between the languages. It says things like most closely translates to or gives a direct, situational example to help you get an idea of what context said particle would be used in.

I mean, there are way more particles than I had originally thought but I think thanks to this little book, I will have an easier time understanding them and telling them apart. The idea of using certain particles in different parts of the sentence and changing the entire tone of the sentence is a really cool feature of Japanese and one I cannot wait to explore more.

Now if only learning the verbs could be this simple 。゜(`Д´)゜。

— ☆ Emrys

Starting Line: One Page Shrines

1webdesignNow, one would think that with how one page shrines are just that – one page long – that would mean that I could easily crank these out in record time. Unfortunately, my brain doesn’t work like that and I have a horrible tendency to simply quit while I am ahead. I get about halfway through something and then I simply give up for no other reason than boredom.

As such, I am hoping that this page here will help to serve as a reminder to myself of which ones I have already started a this point in time but need to actually sit down and finish. They’ve been plenty patient – it’s about time I show these subjects some love!

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Goal Update: A Date With Destiny

There was one game that I forgot to add to my video game list but it was one that I probably forgot on purpose – Destiny. Let me just say this right up front: I am really, truly horrible at FPS games. I can’t aim worth shit and so I never get very far in shooter games. I tried this one out, made it through the tutorial and then dropped it like a sack of potatoes.

That being said, I recently was chattering with a lovely lady who inspired me to give it another go.

Needless to say, I am still not all that great at it and I never expected to be but here is the part that surprised me – I’m actually getting better at it. Everyone always told me that the only way to get better at shooters is to keep playing them and while I know, logically, that is the case, I could never muster up the energy to bother trying. I never found any real enjoyment out of FPS games. For me, I like plot, character development, leveling up and learning about the dynamics of your team. This is why I favour RPGs. I like games with puzzles and hoarding collecting/completion features.

Destiny gives me a bit of that; from what I have seen so far, anyway. There is a leveling up feature! Which I like because it gives me a sense of accomplishment despite the fact that my aim hasn’t really improved. I like feeling like I can make a character my own so even something as simple as swapping out armor and choosing the right gun type for me makes the game just a little more enjoyable.

So while I don’t exactly see myself sitting down to marathon 20 hours of Destiny play, I can see myself taking an hour here and there to take another crack at it. There are a handful of FPS games that I actually DO want to play coughBioshockcough so maybe playing through some more of Destiny will get me the right skill set. So long as I can keep mowing down the bad guys, that’s all I really need!

— ☆ Emrys

Goal Update: Nostalgia and Anger

1writingThe past few days, I have spent some time in the tiny sanctuary that is now my writing folder. It’s all messy and there are 129847130532 stories that are lingering and incomplete. Honestly, the thought that so many stories have been left untold completely pisses me off. I really want to get rid of this stigma of never finishing anything I start. Some of the stuff I have written is just for fun and I don’t feel bad about leaving it to the side. It was just shameless amusement and there is nothing wrong with that. It’s nice to go back and see what antics and shenanigans I was up to back then (Mac x Microsoft fanfic, anyone??).

What bugs me, however, are the chapters stories that I start but never write/complete. I have so many started stories, whole worlds planned, the entire flow of the story worked out but I – for some bloody reason – can’t bring myself to write the stupid thing. I get stuck; that’s a pathetic feeling. I want to be able to finally push myself to get back into these. I realize that most stories haven’t been written at all and the only thing that needs to be done is actually take the time to write them. Others, however, have already been published and have been awaiting updates for over a year – Looking at you, Cross My Heart [FF.net/AO3].

So I am gonna start trying to work at these stories again. They might just be fanfiction but a story is still a story and I have very clear signs that people want to see this story continued.

I’m tired of letting people down when it comes to my writing. I want to become a writer that is consistent and well recognized for creating well organised stories. Sure, I still have my bad habits that I need to work on but I will never improve them if all I do is twiddle my thumbs.


— ☆ Emrys