2018: A Fresh Start

0randombabbleWell, what can I say? Turns out that 2017 was a brutal experience. Things got lost, things got dark and literally everything was thrown to the gutter and left forgotten. A sad fate to something that I put so much of my time, energy and fleeting optimism into. Well, no more! Fuck that. I made this blog to combat that exact issue. I put all my effort into building up a foundation of something that I could be proud of and I nearly let that also slip through my fingers. I never wanted that. I wanted something I could look back on and think yes, this is it! This blog was made to show my progress, not to be another tombstone on the way to bettering myself. So here we go! Fresh year, fresh start!

I guess I don’t have anything in particular to ramble about so I guess I will just summarize where I am at with things right now.

I joined a legitimate Japanese language school. I am currently learning how to form sentences in Japanese to talk to people. It is insanely difficult and I have a ton of studying to constantly do but it makes me feel like I am making genuine progress in learning the language that I have been wanting to learn for so long! I try to practice reading, even though it is really slow and I really need to work more on learning my vocabulary. Hopefully, however, things will continue to progress in a good direction and I can see about joining the next level up next year!

In terms of creativity, I have decided that I am going to do more writing this year! Last year, I only wrote one thing and that deeply saddens me. My lowest point. I nearly went an entire year without writing anything. I have never had that happen before; It was a crippling realization. I want this year to be different. I am feeling more creative, if I am being honest. I feel like I can genuinely get my mojo back this time. So, with a hopeful heart, I am going to attempt to do just that. The goal is the challenge myself; to see about pushing my own limits. Whether that winds up being more fanfiction, short stories or maybe even writing a novel, this is going to be my year to try throwing caution to the wind.

Websites are sort of a mess right now compared to where I last left off. I guess I am still sort of on the fence on what I should do with them. I let the Drunk Bitch Network expire. I felt that it was time to let the past stay in the past. I have officially left the fanlisting world behind. I decided that I was finally finished with that part of my life and honestly, I feel completely okay with that separation. While there is nostalgia, I feel no need to crawl my way back. I want to push forward with more meaningful website creations. I bought a new domain awhile back and while I have plans to use it, I haven’t yet fully decided on just what that will come to mean. I need to find myself a new host, as well. A huge thank you to all the past people who hosted me over the years; my thanks is honestly eternal. You gave me a free space to express myself and for that, I am so grateful. However, I think it is time that I try to stand on my own feet again. Since I will be doing that, I will need to firmly settle on an idea before moving forward. As of right now, consider my websites on hiatus until further notice.

In terms of reading, I have been trying to work on that. I have been reading more manga! Right now, I am trying to work on catching up with Daiya no Ace by re-reading the parts I had and getting up to where I can finally read along with new releases. I have also picked up a few D&D books. During this low year of my life, I discovered and watched (and re-watched, whoops) a series called Critical Role – a show where a bunch of nerdy ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons. Watching it helped to re-spark my creative side. I picked up a few books and I have read through quite a few of them. That is the most reading I have done in ages! Not only that but I also created my own characters and finally got to play my first ever session of D&D! It was so much fun and I cannot wait to play more. I think that on this blog, I may very well make a section dedicated to D&D because I think that it will very quickly come to be a big part of my creative lifestyle.

Honestly, drawing has pretty much tumbled to the sidelines but it was never a hobby that was going to be at the forefront of my life. It was just something to have fun with. The last thing that I drew was actually a little map to be part of my first session of D&D and making that felt rather nice. I guess this goes hand in hand with arts and crafts. All the same, it felt productive to do something with my hands. Who knows, maybe there will be more to tell in time!

Video games is pretty damn abysmal. I bought Persona 5 and haven’t played much of. I am hoping that my drive to play games will come along naturally as I continue to try and better myself to be more creative and to indulge more in hobbies.

Well, I think that does it for the general list I had when I first made this blog. That is where my life is at right now. I want to continue to progress and keep this blog going. Even if it is just tiny updates, I really want to go back to my original plan of posting at least once a week about how things are going. Got to keep moving forward, right? So let’s fucking do this!!

— ☆ Emrys


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